Lamb and Frog

Where “T” stands for tortilla. New Mexico, like many states, is hurtin’ for money. The state legislature is looking for ways to both cut expenditures and increase income. What do they come up with? Food tax.

Now, when I moved here 15 or so years ago all food was subject to NM State gross receipts tax. When that tax was lifted it was considered a victory for poor and working class people, many of whom struggle with food insecurity (they literally do not know where their next meal is coming from). So is the legislature talking about simply un-repealing this food tax? Of course not. That would suck, but it would be fair. No, in their infinite wisdom they only want to tax ‘bad’ foods. What’s a ‘bad’ food? Well, top on the list is that staple of New Mexican cuisine–the flour tortilla. Other foods mentioned included ’certain’ peanut butters and boxed macaroni and cheese. What? The. Fuck!

Sounds to me like our state legislature is declaring a class war on the poor and working class. They better watch out, in this state most of those people come well armed (and ammo has a shelf life longer than boxed macaroni and cheese). For starters, however, supporters of the humble tortilla de harina (corn tortillas, tortillas de maiz, are OK for some reason) gathered together at their own T-party outside the Roundhouse and handed out free tortillas to passers by. Viva la tortilla!

Now, I’m most certainly not saying that the flour tortilla is a terrific food choice. What I am saying is that it looks like a bunch of over-privileged, university-educated, Michael Pollan-reading ass clowns decided that they would impose their own personal grocery shopping regulations on everyone in the state regardless of income. Foods that fill peoples bellies cheaply, albeit not particularly nutritiously, will be taxed. Are they, at the same time, insisting on some sort of corresponding lowering of prices on ‘natural’ and ‘organic’ foods for our state’s poor and working class? Of course not. ‘Certain’ peanut butters? Probably the cheap, commercially made ones. I’m sure the ‘all natural’ nut butters that are available at stores like Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s (you know, the ones where you get the stink-eye if they think you’re shopping out of your station) aren’t on the hit list. After flour tortillas maybe they’ll start taxing white bread because they would prefer everyone buy healthier $6/loaf ‘artisan’ breads from local bakeries.

People, I’m not dissing local bakeries, local farmers, or local anything. The more food that is grown, processed, and purchased locally (including flour tortillas), the better. I’m lucky, I can make a choice to pay a little more for such items and maybe cut back on something else. Unfortunately, for many people in this state having to buy more expensive, but healthier items (or having to pay tax on the cheaper, less nutritious ones) means less food on the table, not in the pantry, and that means someone goes hungry. And that fucking sucks.

I’m not an anti- vice tax person either. You want to tax soda pop, cake mix, marshmallows, and donuts? Go for it. I won’t like it, but I’ll cope. Those are tasty items, but they enhance a meal, they don’t make it. Not true for peanut butter, mac and cheese, and flour tortillas. You want to raise the tax on fast food? I’m OK with that too. Maybe I’ll consider that and buy it less often. You want to tax white bread, bologna, peanut butter, and mac and cheese? You go to hell–take the express.

So, dear legislaturians, here (in addition to the items mentioned above) are my suggestions for taxes you might consider instead of starving already hungry people:

• If you can raise the tax on individual items, then instead of raising the tax on certain foods, raise the tax on anything that comes in individual serving sizes. I’ll pay for drink box convenience, but at least I have the option of using a thermos if I don’t like it or can’t afford it. Ditto individual pudding, chips, jello, and fruit (especially the prunes wrapped like candy and then put in another plastic container).
• Tax disposable shopping bags. Raise (or institute) gross receipts tax on their purchase by the stores. Stores can then choose, or not, to pass that on to their customers. If it gets passed on, it can be offset by the reusable bag credits many stores are already offering.
• Tax plastic drink bottles. Tax them heavily. Double tax them because 1) they are individual portions and 2) they suck.
• Tax anything that comes in plastic clamshell packaging more heavily than stuff that is packaged in recyclable plastic or cardboard. That clamshell shit is a pox on the land, a safety hazard, and an all-around menace to thinking people everywhere.
• Yarn. Seriously, you can tax my fucking yarn. Especially acrylic. It’s a petroleum product. Tax it like gas. Tax it like cigarettes or beer. I’ll gladly pay more or buy less, according to my needs and budget.

But whatever you do to solve New Mexico’s budget problems, kindly pull your heads out of your asses first. The pressure on your stomachs is making you feel full when you aren’t.